I know, it’s pretty weird, right? A massive tech nerd doubling as a dating coach. People are always surprised when they find out. Remember Will Smith in the movie Hitch? Well, that used to be my life. Here’s the story of how it all happened.
I have always let curiosity lead me wherever it may. I love venturing into unknown situations of chaos and emerging victorious. It’s gotten me into some interesting (good and bad) situations that have made me completely immune to the feeling of embarrassment.
I was always into psychology, but when it came to talking to women or people outside my immediate circle of friends, I was a mess. I was painfully shy, couldn’t hold a conversation, and had the social skills of a stereotypical engineer. Yeah, not the best combo. Despite being cool around my childhood female friends, I hadn’t had a single chat with a girl in my college class for three whole years! Plus, I had this crazy crush on this one girl that lasted four years, and I never even spoke to her. Talk about awkward, right?
So, during my third year of engineering (at the age of 21), I decided to tackle this weakness head-on because, hey, I needed to have conversations and interview strangers for my future company. I worked on myself for a few months and voila! I improved. Suddenly, I started making more female friends, and my fellow nerdy engineer friends noticed the change. They started bombarding me with questions on how to do the same, and everyone had the same questions. So I wrote them a 45-page manual. I called it The Indian Playbook or TIP… because… Barney Stinson… and there’s some double entendres in there somewhere. I asked them to read it and then get back to me if they had problems understanding or implementing it. They loved it and shared it with other friends, while I continued working on my goal of building robotics startups.
Around 2010-11, I also became a moderator and early user of OkCupid in India. I was the guy who sees the messages and profiles that get reported, before deciding if the person should be booted from the platform. Boy, did I see some crazy stuff there! I learned so much about online dating, seeing what people did right and oh-so-wrong. I started to help people fix their dating lives, reduce shyness, boost confidence, enhance their online dating game, and improve communication in relationships and marriages by the time I was 25. Over the past decade, I’ve helped around a thousand people, all while juggling my own crazy dating experiences.
I’ve been on some incredible dates and survived some absolutely horrendous ones too. I’ve dealt with love scammers, catfishes, online stalkers (4 to be precise), and even crossed paths with a couple of sociopaths. I’ve got stories to tell, my friend!
All of this has also given me unparalleled insights into the human psyche. You can’t find this stuff in books or by staying in your cozy bubble of friends. I have only used my powers for good. Although some people have pointed out that it feels like I’m reading their minds.
Through this journey, I also became a better storyteller and built genuine lifelong connections with random folks in the most unexpected places. It’s all about embracing the uncomfortable and diving headfirst into the chaos without fear.